How to Embrace God’s Call to be Fathers to the Fatherless – with Roger Cooke. S3E3
Would you consider fostering?
Every 15 minutes, a child comes into care in the UK. What can we, as the church, do to help? We were delighted to have Roger Cooke, from Home for Good, on the Legacy Podcast. Roger provides a depth of insight which we (Stephen and Andy) found both inspiring and helpful in considering if fostering is something our families can do.
Join us.
Chapters
0:00 – 7:45 Introductions 7:45 – 22:35 Why should we care? 22:35 – 35:32 What does it take? 35:32 – 42:46 Commissioning for Every Father
Today’s Guest Roger Cooke is the right man to help us consider fostering and adoption. He leads the work of Home for Good, who believe we all have a part to play in ensuring every child and young person has the home they need. They work to mobilise the Church in the UK to respond to the needs of children in care. Find out more at homeforgood.org.uk
Andy Lamberton is the director of Legacy. He goes to the same church his parents, grandparents, great and great great-grandparents went to. Married to Debbie, they are raising their four children in Donegal with ice-pops for dessert most days. Author of Letters for Exiles: Faithful Living in a Faithless World.
Stephen Mullan directs the work of Dreamscheme Northern Ireland, a youth work charity that provides support and opportunities to young people growing up in housing estates. He also writes on the subject of youth via his newsletter Rethinking Youth. Stephen is married to Sharon and has two young children.
We had one episode on failing as a father. But what about deep failure? This is a heavy conversation.
The last verses of the Old Testament, Malachi 4:5-6 says,
“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the great and awesome day of the Lord comes. And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction.”
Join us as we take a deep dive into this verse, and speak to a man with extensive experience in helping families who have experienced profound hurt find healing and, where possible, restoration.
Willie was the Assistant Director for ‘Family and Child Care’, and then took early retirement to set up Family Spectrum in 2004.
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We’re taking suggestions for season 3, a ‘How to’ series. – What topics do you think we need to cover to help us fathers disciple our children well? Send me an email – andy@legacyfathers.org
Andy Lamberton is the director of Legacy. He goes to the same church his parents, grandparents, great and great great-grandparents went to. Married to Debbie, they are raising their four children in Donegal with ice-pops for dessert most days. Author of Letters for Exiles: Faithful Living in a Faithless World.
Stephen Mullan directs the work of Dreamscheme Northern Ireland, a youth work charity that provides support and opportunities to young people growing up in housing estates. He also writes on the subject of youth via his newsletter Rethinking Youth. Stephen is married to Sharon and has two young children.
“We want to be fathers who disciple our children. And we want to see our churches bulging with thriving families.” Join Andy and Stephen as they introduce themselves, and Legacy
Have you ever wondered who Andy and Stephen are? What is their story? Meet the hosts of the Legacy podcast.
0:00 – 16:20 – Meet Stephen 16:20 – 28:05 – Meet Andy 28:05 – 36:44 – Legacy’s Story
Between Series 2 and Series 3, we’ve got three solo episodes.
Meet Andy and Stephen
The impact of a father – Alf Thompson’s story
“And he will turn the hearts of fathers” with Willie Paterson
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We’re taking suggestions for season 3, a ‘How to’ series. – What topics do you think we need to cover to help us fathers disciple our children well? Send me an email – andy@legacyfathers.org
Andy Lamberton is the director of Legacy. He goes to the same church his parents, grandparents, great and great great-grandparents went to. Married to Debbie, they are raising their four children in Donegal with ice-pops for dessert most days. Author of Letters for Exiles: Faithful Living in a Faithless World.
Stephen Mullan directs the work of Dreamscheme Northern Ireland, a youth work charity that provides support and opportunities to young people growing up in housing estates. He also writes on the subject of youth via his newsletter Rethinking Youth. Stephen is married to Sharon and has two young children.
“To have a father who delights in knowing and loving them is one of the greatest blessings any girl can have.” In the third and final ‘square-table’ conversation, Andy and Stephen are joined by Jonny McKane and Evan Reid, to talk about raising daughters today.
Join us on the Legacy Podcast as we are joined by Jonny McKane and Evan Reid. Two normal fathers who love their daughters well. I was ministered to by these men as we recorded. Listening back, the coals of my heart are stoked afresh. Stephen and I were both taken by their wisdom. We hope you enjoy it.
It’s the third and final round table of Season Two:
Hopes and fears as your daughter grows from girl to woman
How a father-daughter relationship changes over time
Journeying with the emotions of your daughter
Not being scared to speak
Cherishing her now while preparing her for the future
Reflection from Stephen Mullan
We can sometimes fight against the reality that our daughters will one day become women and will leave home. As Andy says near the end of this episode: “I don’t want my daughter to change!”
Who relates? I know I want my one and half year old daughter to forever stay small, cute and slightly squidgy!
At the heart of this feeling is a mix of love and joy. Yet, what I learned in this conversation was that the loving, joyful relationship between a father and his daughter is foundational and formative in her journey to womanhood.
Of course, there is much we need to think about as we raise our girls (and we cover a lot in this episode), but never underestimate the place of joy.
To have a father who delights in knowing and loving them is one of the greatest blessings any girl can have.
Two Songs for fathers with daughters
Be kind to yourself – by Andrew Peterson A song from a father to a teenage daughter. I challenge any father to watch this video and have dry eyes at the end. V2 ”I know it’s hard to hear it when the anger in your spirit is pointed like an arrow to your chest. When the voices in your mind are anything but kind, and you can’t believe your father knows best. I love you just the way that you are, I love the way He made your precious heart. Be kind to yourself”
Banks – By NEEDTOBREATHE A song about caring without controlling. Chorus: ”I want to hold you close, but never hold you back. Like the banks of a river”
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We’re taking suggestions for season 3 – What topics do you think we need to cover to help us fathers disciple our children well? send me an email – andy@legacyfathers.org
Andy Lamberton is the director of Legacy. He goes to the same church his parents, grandparents, great and great great-grandparents went to. Married to Debbie, they are raising their four children in Donegal with ice-pops for dessert most days. Author of Letters for Exiles: Faithful Living in a Faithless World.
Stephen Mullan directs the work of Dreamscheme Northern Ireland, a youth work charity that provides support and opportunities to young people growing up in housing estates. He also writes on the subject of youth via his newsletter Rethinking Youth. Stephen is married to Sharon and has two young children.
“The next twenty years will be marked by confusion. The greatest gift we can give our children is clarity.”
Join co-hosts Andy Lamberton and Stephen Mullan as they chat with Pete Wright from Growing Young Disciples about Raising Kids for Christ in a Confusion World.
We need deep fathers. Men who are capable of making wise decisions for and with their children because they understand the ways of Jesus wholeheartedly and can see through the world’s lies. We need to be fathers who help our children navigate this confusing age.
There is a list of men who join David in 1st Chronicles 12, some from Issachar – “men who understood the times and knew what Israel should do”. Here we have men who understand their cultural moment and, because of this, know what direction they should go. I pray the same will be said of us.
The next twenty years will be marked by confusion. The greatest gift we can give our children is clarity.
On the final episode of this first season of the Legacy Podcast, we are joined by Pete Wright from Growing Young Disciples to talk about Raising Kids for Christ in a Confusing World. One way Pete mentions we can give clarity to our children is to use some catechesis, and so in a unique approach to writing an article, I (Andy Lamberton) document my real-time thought process, considering if I should do catechisms with my children.
If you, like me find that a bit stuffy, you’ll find this article interesting.
Should I do Catechisms with my children? And what even does that look like?
When deciding on anything, you first work out your questions. Here are mine: what is a catechism? Am I biased in my opinion? What benefits do I see? How could we fit it into our family life? What do I need to start?
What is a Catechism?
A catechism is a teaching tool using questions and answers. The questions trigger memory; the answers reinforce truth. It is a conversational way of learning. The goal is to ‘learn by heart’; we educate the mind and in time, hope these truths enter our hearts, become the way we view the world, love our neighbours and follow Jesus.
Am I biased in my opinion of Catechisms?
When I was 9, my Sunday school teacher said. “We’re not going to learn the old-fashioned catechisms. We’re going to learn memory verses because God’s Word is better than old catechisms”. This sentence has formed my understanding of what a catechism is—an old thing.
On top of this, I find it a bit stuffy…
If you know me, you’ll know I love Jesus. But I’m someone whose understanding is catching up with my experience. God has acted in my life. Spoken and restored. Called and guided. Loved and challenged. Transformed and invited. It is often after God has been at work in my life that I begin to understand what He is doing. I then see Him in richer definition. My life has been the joy of discovering God.
So the idea of teaching my children theology about God before they’ve discovered him themselves doesn’t come natural to me. It isn’t in tune with my testimony. And I wonder, if I choose to do catechisms with my children, will it take all the joy out of their journey? I’m scared of making them into Christians who know their right all the time. Yuck!
What’s your leaning?
Are you drawn to using a Catechism to nurture faith, or is this far from your mind? Maybe you would even find all that stuff hard to read; maybe your children would not engage; maybe you think the church should be doing all that jazz. And sure isn’t a wee episode of Bluey before bed easier – and you get cuddles!
However, after talking to Pete, I am going to try doing catechisms with my children. His reasons were compelling. I’m willing to change. I think I need to. Here’s why…
What benefits do I see?
Our children, as Bible-believing Christians, will be a minority in Ireland, so they, more than I, will need to understand early how the Christian faith fits together.
Tim Keller says teaching children catechisms is like giving them buckets which can be filled throughout their life. I like that. A framework for understanding; a spade to dig deep; a wile heap of big buckets to fill with discovery and blessings.
It provides face-to-face time for our family.
It’s a way I can reinforce what we learn in church.
It has stood the test of time as a practice for spiritual formation.
It is something for them to fall back on. When life goes pear-shaped, there will be something in their mind, like money in the bank, on which to draw.
How can we fit Catechisms into our family life?
For us, there are two ways I see it working.
As part of our morning routine. Our children are all at primary school, and we have breakfast at the same time, around four times each week. Could I do something there?
Linked to church. We go to a small church, and the Sunday School consists of three families. Could I suggest we cover a Catechism there and then reinforce it at home?
You will have other options here, perhaps at bedtime? before movie night? or after church on Sunday? I’m going to give the mornings a go.
Oh, and I need to talk to my wife about this – always a good idea! I’ll do that tonight!
What do we need to start?
I love the idea of coming up with a few questions for younger children. Pete had four basic questions for his two-year-old:
Who made you? God
What else did God make? All things
Why did God make you and all things? For His glory
Who is Jesus? He’s the king
This is class! But to start, I think I’ll use a resource. I’ve bought a New City Catechism and the Shorter Catechism of the Westminister confession of faith. (Put me out a tenner!) Having flicked through both, I’m going to use the New City Catechism, do a question a week and see how it goes.
Bio: Andy Lamberton goes to the same church his parents, grandparents and great-grandparents went to. Married to Debbie, they are raising their four children in Donegal with ice-pops for dessert most days. Author of Letters for Exiles: Faithful Living in a Faithless World and director of Legacy, a ministry for fathers from Exodus.
– Did you enjoy the podcast? Please share with other fathers you know.
